Given that divorce is so hard on adults, it is no wonder that for a child, divorce can be such a traumatic event as to cause serious developmental problems for years into their lives. High conflict divorces, in which parents yell at each other, use abusive language, break furniture, or resort to physical violence, can damage the way a child develops relationships when they become an adult. Divorces are bound to bring out the worst aspects of an already crumbling relationship, which is why it is so important to mitigate the conflict between you and your spouse during divorce for your child’s sake.
Four Steps to Reduce Stress on Your Child
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, there are four key steps to take to manage conflict during your divorce. These include the following:
- Mediation — Mediation seeks to help two disagreeing parties reach a reasonable and mutually beneficial solution to their problem. It is used in all types of law and can be particularly beneficial for family law scenarios in which neither spouse wants to give up any of their wishes. During mediation, both parties meet with an impartial third party, with their attorneys present, and the mediator helps each side see the other’s point of view. An agreement may be reached and steps to enact the agreement can be taken, or if one or neither party likes the presented solution, they can turn down any agreement.
- Collaborative Divorce — When the two spouses enter an agreement to settle their dispute without going to court, it is called a collaborative divorce. Collaborative divorces use negotiation to stay out of the high stress and high stakes courtroom, where a judge will end up having the final say.
- Co-Parent Counseling — After separation or divorce has already been finalized, there may still be a high level of conflict between both parties that the child is inevitably subjected to. In these circumstances, it may be beneficial to hire a mental health professional. Ongoing and unresolved high conflict between co-parents is harmful to children. Conflict often revolves around communication, planning events and pick up times, education, and more.
- Parenting Coordination — A good parenting plan goes a long way into creating a conflict-reduced relationship between both parents and their child. Creating a parenting plan and sticking to it will help with coordination, conflict resolutions, and communication between all three (or more) people. A parenting coordinator can be utilized to help create a plan and keep both parents accountable to it.
Reach Out to a San Jose Divorce Attorney
Whether you believe that a collaborative divorce or mediation is right for you, you need an experienced attorney. Call the dedicated San Jose family law attorneys at the office of Gemma V. Reyes today to schedule a consultation today.