Whether you have been served with divorce papers or you are planning on filing for a divorce, it is imperative that you plan accordingly to protect your interests. The divorce process can go from amicable to adversarial in a matter of minutes. So, it is important to consider taking the necessary steps to protect yourself, your finances, and your children now rather than later.
The following suggestions are intended for those who either are anticipating a highly adversarial divorce or those currently facing a highly adversarial divorce. Each circumstance is unique, and you may only need to act upon a few of the following divorce plan tactics. What you do or do not do will depend on your relationship with your partner.
It is important to remember that the divorce process will be much easier on you and your children when you and your partner are able to work through the process amicably. Always weigh the consequences before taking action.
Retain an Experienced Divorce Attorney at the Beginning Stages of the Divorce Process
Abraham Lincoln once stated, “If you are your own lawyer, you have a fool for a client.” Divorce cases have life-long consequences. Therefore, you will need an experienced attorney to help you navigate the complex legal issues and ensure that your interests are protected.
Pay Attention and Document Threats
When someone is making threats, you need to pay attention to these threats. Often times, when someone is angry, they can reveal their true intentions, thoughts, or secret plans they intend to use against you to gain the advantage over you. Be sure not to make any threats and remain calm. If your spouse is making threats toward you, document these threats. Include the day, time, witnesses, and location where the threat was made. Be as detailed and specific as possible. If possible, use your cellphone’s recorder to record any threats. In California, it is a form of domestic violence to make a threat of force against a spouse, child, or relative inside your home. Be sure to keep your attorney informed of the threats and to determine if any criminal charges or restraining order could be necessary.
Call 911 if Domestic Violence Occurs
Should your spouse threat force or use force against you or your children, contact law enforcement immediately. Then contact your attorney. Obtain a Restraining Order to protect you and your children.
Remain at the Family Home
If you and your spouse own a home, do not move out. This is especially true when you and your spouse have children together. If you have already moved out, you need to make sure that you move back in. Make sure you have your mail delivered to the family home. If you and your spouse live in a rented space and you have children together, you need to move back into the home. If you move out, you may hurt your chances to win full or 50/50 custody of the children. Also, if the home is owned by you and your spouse, moving out could cause a financial problem for you. It is advisable that you draft a “time-sharing” agreement that spells out how you will share time with the children and share the home in peace. That last thing you want is a false allegation of domestic violence filed against you. Be proactive to demonstrate that you are amicable and keeping the peace in the home.
Do Not Permit the Children to Leave the Home
Often times a vengeful parent will attempt to remove the children from the family home. If your spouse is attempting to remove your children from your home, you must tell your spouse that he or she is free to leave home, but he or she cannot remove your children from their home. Contact your attorney for any family emergency such as this. A parent should never take their children across state lines without prior written permission from the other parent. Fighting for custody of your children will be very difficult if your spouse takes your children out of state. Contact your attorney in a situation such as your attorney could file an emergency Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) to legally prohibit your children from being moved out of the state.
Close All Joint Credit Cards and Place Your Credit on Hold
If you decide to protect your financial interests by closing all joint credit cards, make sure that you cancel the credit cards and lock your credit before telling your spouse that you canceled the credit accounts. In many cases, one spouse will rack up the credit cards for their own personal gain, or the spouse cleans out the savings accounts. Tell your spouse after you closed the accounts and took care of the other financial interests.
Avoid Your Spouse “Cleaning out” the Joint Bank Accounts
Bitter spouses usually attempt to “clean out” the joint banking accounts. Be sure to remove your share of the money and then deposit those funds into your new bank account. You may want to consider removing your name from the joint bank account but speak to your attorney before doing as such. Have your attorney draft a letter notifying your spouse that you have taken out your part of the funds and that you would like to speak with him or her about arranging to pay your share of the shared bills. It is a good idea to only take half of the savings and not the full amount. However, there may be circumstances in which the funds should be removed completely. But speak to your attorney about the best approach to take.
Fight for Joint Legal Custody
If you have children with your spouse, you must set the correct precedent at the start of the divorce process. When you settle for less time with your children at the onset of your divorce, this can damage your chances to be awarded full or joint legal custody.
Stop Contributing to Retirement Accounts
Divorces can take a long time to conclude. It is advisable that you ask your employer to temporarily stop your regular retirement account or pension plan contributions. You may need to fill out a few forms.
Move Important Photos, Legal Forms, Records, Titles, and Deeds to a Secure Location Outside of Your Home
It is important to preserve and protect all important documents such as social security cards, diplomas, titles, birth certificates, legal records, pension papers, investment account papers, bank statements, marriage certificates, photos, and any other valuable affairs. Move these items into a storage unit or leave with a friend or family member for safekeeping. Make at least three copies and provide one set of copies to your spouse and the other set to your attorney.
Video Document the Marital Property
It is always a good idea to make a video catalog of the entire marital property. It may be a good idea to do this with your spouse. If your spouse does not want to participate, simply state that you will get her a copy and note that in the video. Be sure the video is safeguarded from your spouse. When video recording your household goods and property, hold up a newspaper, and show the date of the newspaper to confirm the date of the recording. Show the newspaper at the end and make sure the video it one continuous recording without pauses. Open all safes, drawers, cabinets, and make sure you record everything.
Protect Your Valuable Personal Property
Make sure that you remove and secure all valuable items such as photos, keepsakes, family heirlooms, mementos, jewelry, firearms, precious metals, and other items of value that cannot be replaced. Do not remove community property, but only prized personal property.
Keep a Diary of Events
Be sure to keep a daily journal of events such as arguments, telephone calls, time spent with your children, and any other pertinent facts. Do not put any personal feelings or thoughts in this journal. Use another journal for reflection. This journal will be used as evidence in your divorce case. Should you want the journal not to be used in court, simply address each of your entries to your attorney and then provide the details of the day. The moment you address your attorney in the journal, the journal becomes a privileged communication that cannot be used as evidence.
Prepare Yourself for False Allegations
Divorce with assets and/children get dirty. Be prepared for false allegations levied against you. Always contact your divorce attorney as soon as the allegations are made. Memorize your attorney’s phone number in the event that you are arrested for false allegations of abuse or molestation. This way, you can be bailed out of jail and make sure your legal rights are protected.
Never Sign Any Documents Without Your Attorney Reviewing the Document First
Do not make the mistake of signing anything for your spouse. Always state that your attorney will review everything before you sign a document. In some cases, spouses use non-divorce related documents to use with other legal documents. Protect your signature at all times.
Contact Our San Jose Divorce Lawyer at 408-292-6289
Call Gemma V. Reyes, Attorney at Law, in Santa Clara at 408-292-6289 or contact us by e-mail now to schedule an appointment. You will discuss your case with a divorce attorney who can offer you the personalized solutions you need.
